How to Do Loving-Kindness Meditation: 4 Simple Steps

Loving-kindness meditation, called jabigwan (慈悲觀) in Korean and widely known as metta, grows a warm heart by silently sending wishes such as "may you be at ease." You start with yourself, then someone close to you, then someone you barely know, and finally all beings. In the online temple Hapjang (합장) you can sit on a forest bench and be guided through these four steps.

Steps: 4 (yourself → someone close → a stranger → all beings)
Where: Forest benches on the Slow Forest Trail
Time: About 1–3 minutes per step, or as long as you like
Speaking: Not needed; it's all in your mind
What you need: Nothing

Where does loving-kindness meditation come from?

It's a practice handed down since early Buddhism, known as a way of cultivating loving-kindness, the first of the four boundless states of mind: loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity. Who you send wishes to, in what order, and which phrases you use differ somewhat by tradition and teacher.

Why start with yourself?

Many teachers begin with yourself, on the view that warmth you can't give yourself is hard to hold for others for long. Still, many people find sending wishes to themselves the most awkward part. If so, it's fine to start with someone close and come back to yourself later.

When the feeling doesn't come

It's okay if the wishes don't feel heartfelt. Slowly repeating the phrases is enough.
If someone is hard to bring to mind, skip that step and move on.
If strong sadness or painful memories come up, stop and return to your breath. If it's too much to handle alone, please also see When things feel too hard.

How to do loving-kindness meditation

Settle in Sit comfortably, close your eyes or lower your gaze, and take a few calm breaths.
To yourself Slowly repeat a short phrase in your mind, such as "May I be at ease, may I be healthy."
To someone close Bring to mind someone you're grateful for or care about, and send them the same wish.
To a stranger Send the same wish to someone you barely know, like a person you passed today.
To all beings Widen the wish so that every being alive at this moment may be at ease.
Return to the breath Let the phrases go, feel a few breaths, and slowly open your eyes.

Try it in Hapjang

Sit on a forest bench along the Slow Forest Trail and choose [Compassion practice] to be guided through four steps in turn: yourself → someone close → a stranger → all beings. You don't need to write or say anything; just follow the on-screen guidance and send the wishes in your mind. Other visitors may be sitting quietly on the forest benches too.

Enter the temple

Frequently asked questions

What phrases are used in loving-kindness meditation?

Short, warm phrases such as "May you be at ease, may you be healthy, may you be free from suffering." You can put them in your own words, or simply repeat one or two.

Is jabigwan the same as metta meditation?

Yes, they refer to the same practice. Metta is the Pali word for loving-kindness, and in English it's also called loving-kindness meditation.

Sending wishes to myself feels awkward.

That's very common. Start with someone close, and come back to yourself once your heart has softened a little.

Last updated 2026-11-07